Jolie Shapiro00:01.433
Hey all, welcome to Revenue Mind, a podcast. Revenue leaders talk all things mental health. I'm Jill your host, and with us is James. Welcome, James.
James Buckley00:09.038
What's going on? Thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here.
Jolie Shapiro00:11.851
Yeah, I feel like I don't know. I just we have like a vibe. We've a vibe going. I'm I'm very I'm very much enjoying it.
James Buckley00:17.772
Well, I you know, it not the first time that I've heard that people will say that my energy is magnetic. And I think that as a sales professional that can help you and exhaust you at the same time.
Jolie Shapiro00:28.911
Yeah, I'm just like, wow. Like I I just like want to steal not like not like in a creepy way, but you know how like in sci-fi movies you well that no, it's gonna sound creepy. In sci-fi movies you can like kinda like s source energy. I kinda wanna just like take take a little bit 'cause I constantly need coffee, so
James Buckley00:45.272
Yeah. So I'm I'm a fan of coffee. I ha do a series called Coffee with James. We've done fifty episodes. there just with like little recordings. Sometimes I have a guest, sometimes it's just me, and I just share a quick tip. but my energy is always highest in the mornings, so I'm on fire when I wake up.
Jolie Shapiro00:53.763
That. Me too. Awesome. Yeah, me too. What time zone are you excuse me? What time zone are you in? Okay. Damn. Dude. Okay. 3 a.m. Eastern? Wow. Wow. Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna stop grilling you like that because I'm just I'm gonna not have anything to say and be like, well, I'm a loser.
James Buckley01:07.49
I'm in Eastern Standard Time and I get up at three in the morning to go to the gym. Yeah. It's not good actually. I was diagnosed with type two diabetes a couple of years ago. So I went through like a whole life change and down dropped like seventy pounds and it was a it was a big life it was a big life shift.
Jolie Shapiro01:32.666
wow. Okay. Yeah. congratulations. Good for good for you.
James Buckley01:42.38
Yeah, thanks. you know, you can say that you beat type two diabetes, but the truth is once you're a type two diabetic, you're always a type two diabetic. You're just managing it. So I do it with all with no medication, just you know, f managing it with my food and constant exercise. Constant exercise.
Jolie Shapiro01:59.49
Yeah, no, I I completely understand that. I've had I've definitely had my struggles in that department. I
James Buckley02:04.417
Yeah, it's good though. I, you know, we could probably get into this, but my back my background suggested that I would have an addiction, and that addiction ended up going from hard dope to food. And that's what put me in that position. Plus, I'm in sales remote and I work at home. So like the sedentary lifestyle, sitting here eight hours a day, you know, you just have no activity. So like the whole lifestyle had to shift.
Jolie Shapiro02:08.109
Yeah. we'll get into it. All right. And I have quite I'm not I'm not gonna trauma match you like I did with another guest. I'm like, my god, what am I doing? No, I didn't I wasn't even trying to. I I told I told the guest, I was like, Yeah, it's kind of like when addicts get around each other. I I just get this visual of like
James Buckley02:33.412
that's all right, we can we can try, I assure you that you will not match my trauma.
Jolie Shapiro02:48.897
All of us sitting back with our cigarettes, like, Yeah, I went to mental hospital. Yeah, I went to like this, I went to that. It's just in my head. It's just
James Buckley02:53.889
No, that's exactly what it's like. That's it. No. So so so it might be in your head, but it's also in reality. I will I will tell you as a as a as a former member of said kinds of groups, there are two major issues. One, it's war stories and you get wrapped up in it, right? Two, you're literally meeting a lot of people that have all the connections that you don't need. And the third, and probably the more important one, is that you're coming in there with problems and trying to solve them with this group, and you often inherit a lot of other people's problems.
Jolie Shapiro03:00.002
Okay, cool. Exactly, yes.
James Buckley03:24.499
So there's this like give and take. Not saying these groups don't work. I think they're wildly effective for some people. They just weren't for me.
Jolie Shapiro03:31.768
I get that. No, I'm just talking about my friends. yeah. yeah. No, I I have very I have I I tend to no no no. Say I I've been I've been in AA, but my my friends I tend my friend and I
James Buckley03:33.995
Yeah. I'm talking about NA and A A. That's what I'm talking about. Ha ha ha.
Jolie Shapiro03:50.2
also w said once I was talking to another podcast I was like yeah we kind of we kinda just I don't know if people are fucked up enough for us. I think we like tend to attract like we tend to like people that have a lot of not issues but like that have really gone through something like tram like very traumatic exactly it's like I haven't even asked exactly I haven't even asked my first question yet yeah
James Buckley04:04.791
That's why we get along, Julie. That's why Yeah. That that's why we hit it off right away. Same zies. Yeah. No, we've been through some shit. I can tell.
Jolie Shapiro04:17.351
What did someone tell me today on LinkedIn? They're like, what was it? they're like, I can tell your what was it? not venom blood, but like something like very fierce. I'm like, all right, I'll accept your connect. Cool. I don't know how you're getting that from my fake ass profile shot, but I'll accept your connect. Sure.
James Buckley04:33.751
Well no They're all fake though in a way, right? Like I and also I judge people on their profile shot pretty frequently. I feel like I try to match the energy. Like if you look like this
Jolie Shapiro04:42.38
Yeah. Ha ha ha cracking.
James Buckley04:50.187
And you're all serious with it? Like I try to come at you serious. But if you look like me
Jolie Shapiro04:55.311
Ha ha ha.
James Buckley04:56.289
Right, like I'm joking and I'm having a good time with it. I try to do that.
Jolie Shapiro05:00.013
I'm like in the middle. I'm like, I'm professional, but I probably will cut you if you if you mess with me.
James Buckley05:08.255
I'm not professional and don't fit any corporate role. So if you're out there and you're like, I need a person that's in sales and you're a corporate entity, don't contact me. I'm I'm not going to fit your culture. Yeah. I'm an HR risk. Yeah. HR risk.
Jolie Shapiro05:11.436
I love that. We'll put that we'll put that in the show notes. Do not contact James. That's probably the title of a show. I'm an HR risk. We'll see. man. All right. Let's let's ask a question. Well, I I just want to kind of stay on brand if if you'll if you'll if you're cool with it. Ver I I'm loving this show. so the the first question I typically ask, just kind of tailor it for each person, is
James Buckley05:28.287
It might be. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the show VHR Risk. James, say what sales Buckley, he is here. Sure, I guess. huh.
Jolie Shapiro05:54.468
So you've built a whole brand on say what and being the guy who's always on camera. Strip it all away, right? The hosts, the followers, the mic. Who are you when nobody's watching?
James Buckley06:05.837
gosh, when nobody's watching, I'm a guy that watches the same movies over and over. I'm a guy that listens to music all the time. I tell people that if I had to choose between being blind and listening to and be going deaf, I'll be blind because if I can't hear music ever again in my life, just kill me now. so I think movies and music and books are probably the three things that I do when nobody's watching. I'm a big book nerd, hence all the books around me. so so that that's me. from a personality perspective, I'm a humor person. I like to make people laugh. I like to laugh. I'm a guy that makes a joke and then chuckles a little bit at my own joke. I don't do it for them, I do it for me. you know, it's it's my life and it's on me, right? Like I I wanna make it fun for everybody because it's fun for me. so that's who I am, I think, when nobody's watching and I'm I'm not talking about me in a professional sense.
Jolie Shapiro07:00.259
I love that. I love the part where you said I laugh at my own jokes because if I make a particularly snarky joke, especially to my husband, I'm not gonna be on camera here, but I go like 'cause I know it's snarky as hell. And I'm like, Yeah, yeah, I just pulled that and I kinda do like a half chuckle and he's just like, You're such a goober.
James Buckley07:12.65
Ha ha ha. My wife and I end up laughing at our own jokes, because we think that they're f we think we're funny, you know. And like that's that's what it's all about, right? Life is a big joke and if you can't make light of bad situations, you're probably in the wrong game.
Jolie Shapiro07:28.45
Exactly. yeah, seriously. No, especially with like, I mean it's there are certain tr I feel like there are certain experiences that we shouldn't joke about. But for the most part, I mean, do you think any everything's off limits? Or everything is yeah, everything's off limits, or do you think there's some things that
James Buckley07:52.388
you know, I I think there are probably some things that I some things that I avoid typically. I avoid any race jokes, I avoid any pop political jokes. but that's not because I don't think those are funny. It's because I don't want to invite a problem. And you just in today's world you never know how people are gonna react. A lot of people are very sensitive, or so it has been explained to me. So I tr I try really hard to limit the things that could be that could come across to anybody as offensive. I might drop a couple of curse words here and there on the show. you know, even when I'm in in like a public setting at like a party or something, I'll tell some jokes, it'll be fun. but none of them are going to be offensive. No one would ever come to me and be like, You said that, and it hurt my soul. Right. Like that's that's not my aim ever. So I try to keep everything really lighthearted, and when things get serious, I'm often the person that brings it back to the lighthearted nature. and be like, All right, let's let's get the music back going. Let's keep it going here. Have a good time. All right, let's everybody's having fun.
Jolie Shapiro08:49.719
If someone says like r something really fucked up, you're like, Okay, so everyone pause. Let's let's like circle back and reset, level set, reorient all that stupid corporate shit that I hate. I hate those words.
James Buckley08:56.01
Yeah. Absolutely. And with that, we're gonna come back to this point over here. Yeah. No, I just wanna dive a little deeper on this. One second. Can we circle back?
Jolie Shapiro09:04.079
Double click on this. Don't double click on that. I sort of pa. my god. And what's so sad is I think I still I think I use those words to this day because it's just been like ingrained in my head. Just good.
James Buckley09:17.663
I've I've beaten them out of myself because I tr I teach people not to say following up, touching bass, checking in, bubbling this back up to the top. you know, I I I teach them not to do it. So I've removed it for the most part from my vocabulary. And then when I see it in my writing, it it flags my big no, don't do that. That and just just is another one. Like I hate I hate it when people say, I just wanted to follow up. I just wanted to say this thing.
Jolie Shapiro09:38.807
yeah.
James Buckley09:46.259
If everything is I just when you say just, everything after it like loses a lot of its impact in my mind. So I'm very conscious of those types of things after twenty years in sales.
Jolie Shapiro09:57.872
I say just way too much. 'Cause if I'm
James Buckley09:59.596
I say that and then I'm guilty of saying this one. I'd love. I'd love to pick your brain. I'd love to talk about X. I'd love to connect about Y. I'd love to find a path forward. I'd love of course I'd love it. Of course I would. Right?
Jolie Shapiro10:11.279
It's like, well, what about the other person? Would they love it? I don't know. Exactly. Would you like to? Versus like, I'd love to do this. my gosh. I'm having a ball. I don't know about you, but this is fun. No, I can see why you have 700 people. I know. I'm just like getting a very, very small piece of it. I'd love to if you're open to sharing it, I'd love to hear kind of about your journey. I know you're pretty open about addiction and
James Buckley10:14.369
Would they love it? That's the real question, right? Like yeah. Right, right. This is me every day, I live in this brain.
Jolie Shapiro10:39.715
Kind of like your steps there, if you're open to to sharing, that'd be wonderful. I I see exactly. there I know, would you like to would you be open to sharing? There we go.
James Buckley10:42.147
you'd love to? You'd love to hear it. so Would you like to tell me about your story? so it's actually I'll I'll give you the condensed version. so I I cut my tea. I was a cook for many years, 15 years I was in the kitchen. So my wife's not welcome in my kitchen. She hasn't made a meal in 20 years. You wouldn't want it, even if she did. It's been so long. Anyway, when I left the kitchen, I started in sales, but I did door to door. I did door-to-door business to business and door-to-door residential. business to business side, I was doing phone lines for ATT. And on the residential side, I was doing pest control. This was a blast for me. It was basically like walking around, knocking on doors, talking to people, meeting people. I have a big magnetic personality that works to my advantage in sales. So I used that very heavily everywhere I went, and I learned a lot of techniques. I I call them tricks now, but they called them techniques at the time. but they're really tricky, right? Ways to get people to agree with you over and over so that they'll say, Yes. You can see that. You're already shaking your head, yes, Jolie, because I'm shaking my head as I speak. I call this the yes, yes. This is what it is, right? So you learn these types of connections and these types of techniques when you're in door-to-door sales. And then I went to college, I got a degree in writing communications, I sobered up. I I was originally from Miami, Florida. I live in Tennessee now. So in two thousand six, I decided that I had had enough. I OD'd just about. I went to the hospital. The doctor, his words to me were, Your heart is the size of an NFL football right now. And it's pushing on your rib cage. And at any moment it could rupture and you'd be dead in eight seconds. And nobody in this building could save you. Right? He has this X ray up and he's showing me this big mass in my chest. Two days later I had everything I owned on a truck, my family, my kids, everything, and we moved to Tennessee. Well, when you sober up and you realize that you're an unhappy person, you go through terrible divorces. And I have the crown for worst divorce in history. Feel free to accept my challenge. Anyone out there that would like to talk about that. So go through this terrible divorce, reinvent myself as a human being, sober. I go back to college, I get a degree, I meet a woman, we end up getting married. She has two kids, I have two kids, so we're like the Brady Bunch, right? shared custody on both ends. We end up getting married. Here we are 20 years later together. In that time period, I started at say at Cirrus Insight, and I was an SDR. They handed me a laptop and a headset, and they were like, Here, call these people, talk about this. Like that was the training. You know what I'm saying? Like you sit and you do the demos with the AE, and then they give you the stuff and they go, best of luck to you. Right. So you go and you call because at the time that was like the number one channel was cold calling, and they put you in this dialer. And people, it's just, you know, you hear the boop and then you talk. Hi, can I speak with Raymond? Right. And then I remember getting really good at this. And then I started with email, and then I started creating what is now known as say what sales. That's my personal brand. it's it's been a blast to rally to all to to see the battle cry. my motto when I do the videos is if you're a salesperson, we're the same person. And that attracts a lot of salespeople in my direction when they hear that. Being a salesperson in the modern age is a tough job. Granted, we sit in air-conditioned places and tap on our keyboards, right? Like, granted, it's not huffing concrete, it's not lifting heavy pipe, it's not working in the sun. But being told no 99 times a day, being ignored on a consistent basis is taxing on us, on our souls. We feel like we're spinning our wheels for no reason. We feel like we're running very quickly to nowhere. And this can be a very big challenge. What I found in all that how to how to do this, you know, is that my past, everything I'd been through in my past, my addiction problem, my divorce, led me to this point. And that ability to like take that life experience and put it in front of other people who want to find quote success, whatever that looks like, that's how this whole thing was born for me. Because it looks different for everybody. I'm I find myself to be very successful considering my gutter background, right? My my very middle class, you know, come from average beginnings background. I find myself successful. Other people look at me and say, Well, he's not very successful. Other people look at me and say, I that guy, I want to be just like him. We all have those people. We are those people for somebody. Yeah. So that's that's my background is, you know, from zero to hero, I guess. in like a few years and a lot of trauma and turmoil that would never have allowed a lot of people to get here. But I think resilience played a big role in it. so I lean on that very heavily and I tell people that you gotta be resilient in this world.
Jolie Shapiro15:59.29
Sorry, you broke up a lot. I'm just hoping that that was on mine and not yours. I think we're good.
James Buckley16:03.373
Yeah, I noticed that jumped a little bit.
Jolie Shapiro16:08.239
it jumped on your end two.
James Buckley16:10.188
Yeah, it did.
Jolie Shapiro16:12.911
Do you mind repeating that that s that maybe sentence or two?
James Buckley16:16.853
Which w I don't know where you lost me.
Jolie Shapiro16:20.358
like like the past maybe twenty seconds. You're
James Buckley16:24.041
yeah. So what I tell people is that you have to be resilient in this world because resilience is what's going to carry you through. I think I think all of the trauma that I went through led me to this point where all those experiences have allowed me to communicate in the way that I do. Very open, very transparent, right? I have no fear of talking to strangers. You know, all that life experience makes you very uncomfortable. So Uncomfortable situations like being in a s a sales situation where you're selling to six stakeholders and they all have different agendas suddenly is not as uncomfortable as you've been in the past. Right? I was in a courtroom fighting for my kids. That's uncomfortable. This $20,000 deal, probably a lot less uncomfortable.
Jolie Shapiro17:18.167
No, it's so true. I mean what so for someone stepping into sales, let's say forget what generation we're on, Jen I know Gen Z is probably getting old. Yeah.
James Buckley17:28.375
Gen Z is right now entering the workforce and that's a talking point, I'll tell you. Definitely a different world out there for the Gen Z employees.
Jolie Shapiro17:35.413
Yeah. I thought it was Gen Alpha. No, they're younger. They're young. They're not Shen Z. Yeah, what what were you gonna say about it? Sound like you had thoughts.
James Buckley17:40.083
they're Gen Alpha is young. They're not quite in the workforce yet. Gen Z is fresh in the workforce now. man, there's just so much to unpack. so first of all, I think millennials are the last resilient generation. I say that because Gen Xers were the last figure it out generation. Right? They didn't have all the resources at their fingertips that the millennials ended up having as technology rose. Millennials are the last generation to remember a time without smart technology. Gen Z is the first generation to go through what's considered their formative years with basically computers in their pockets. Right? They don't have to know the math. I'll just take a picture of that equation and look at ChatGPT. It'll do it for me. Right? I don't have to learn to read. In fact, I don't even have to read to anyone myself. That's not, I'm never gonna have to do that because there's gonna be an app there to read to my children. Right? There's a thousand different things that. Our generations do that the new generation doesn't, but that's not really the problem. The problem is that this is the Gen Z is the first generation ever in the history of education to not outperform its predecessor academically. When you look at an average high school graduate right now, fresh out of high school, maybe they're 19, hand them an index card that has a sentence on it that uses fifth grade vocabulary words. You'll be lucky if six out of 10 can read that index card. But these kids are doing different things. They've learned to make money. Online. They've learned that being an influencer is actually easier than people think. They've learned that they don't have to be a slave to the nine to five. They've learned that they can have jobs that fit their schedules and can work around their hobbies. And where the hell was that when millennials were in s were coming into it, right? Gen Xers never even thought about that being a thing. Are you joking? Nine to five, that's the grind. This is life. Right? Gen Zers actually have it figured out. They're like, no, the job will never define me. It's never gonna be who I am. Who I am is completely separate from what I do. Millennials are kind of mixed. We're like half and half. Some of us, I'd say the elder millennials kind of fit that that weird mold of like non adopter, I'm a little bit hesitant about AI because I saw Terminator when I was a kid. Right? There's like a thousand things that millennials think. About that kind of stuff. But the younger millennials, we we are like adopters. We're the gamers of the world. You know, we Super Nintendoed our way through junior high and high school. So, you know, that it's very different. I feel like, I feel like we're watching a separation happen generationally, and we're looking at it through the wrong lens. It's not a negative thing. It's actually a positive thing. We just got to figure out how to communicate with each other because that's the thing that's dying. And you can see this every day in everyday activity. I talk about this regularly. Go to Walmart, stand in line. There, if you're lucky, there's a cashier and you're not ringing your own stuff up, right? But does that person on the other end of that cash register have an AirPod in one ear? When you speak to them, do they speak back or do they look at you like you're an alien for asking how their day's going? Because that's the world we're breeding. And you might think, well, that's really shitty. Not for that Gen Zier. For that Gen Zier, they're crushing the game, working this job right now while they put together this thing on the side that nobody knows anything about that's gonna make them famous. And no one will see it coming.
Jolie Shapiro21:45.36
That's yeah, no, I I love the way that you laid that out. It's just so it's scary, man. I f I mean it not scary. I mean I always think of Skynet. That is very true. But I'm just like I mean I I love AI, but I also little freak, so I'm probably on that on that, you know, spectrum, but
James Buckley22:02.411
We fall into the trap. That's what happens. Is that we fall into the trap of what every generation says about the generation underneath them. I don't understand them. Right? Our ch our parents said it about us. Their parents said it about them. And we say it about our children. This is this is the circle of life that's happening right in front of us every day. And we want to look at it like it's a bad thing. Don't fall into the trap. Just because you see a Gen Z are out there and you said hello to them and they looked at you like you were an alien, don't think they're disconnected or odd, right? Like they're not. They're just a different generation. It's our fault. We raised them to be who they are. So if you're gonna look to be like, why is society the way it is? Right here. Right here, point at yourself because we did this. We built these kids. TV raised us, smartphones raised them. The difference is that TV isn't available nine to five while we're at work, TV isn't available while we're at school, and now it's in our pocket twenty-four-seven.
Jolie Shapiro23:15.393
Yeah, that's I guess I never really think about the generational differences. I always think about generational trauma, like what's being passed down from generation to generation. But I but that's a much more positive view. Not view, sorry, take on it.
James Buckley23:24.141
Absolutely. It can go either way. I wouldn't call it positive. I would call it, I would call it easy to mold. Right? Your view impacts the way you see the next generation. Just like their view impacts the way they see the older generations, right? Some kids look at baby boomers and Gen X and go, I want to learn from that person. They have a lot of knowledge that I could soak up and use in my life.
Jolie Shapiro23:37.665
my god.
James Buckley23:56.448
Other Gen Zers and millennials look at Boomers and Gen X and go, okay, Boomer, in this disrespectful way, where it kind of puts them on their heels and they go, you're one of those, right? And then they wonder why they have this like friction in office, right? Why we talk about quote working with difficult people. They're not difficult people. There's no such thing as difficult people. It's just that so many of us want to put labels on things and we want to call somebody something because. They disagreed with something we said, or their point of view is different from mine. Right? So we cancel them. We say, that person's just a boomer. Well, that's a really easy label to slap on someone. The next time you do something stupid, and that boomer says, Well, you're just a Gen Z, you're gonna know how that feels. Right? It goes both ways, but we've lost that ability to respect one another from a generational perspective. Again, our fault.
Jolie Shapiro24:51.023
I totally agree and really appreciate you expanding on that. That's I'm just like kind of nodding, like, wow, that's really interesting. I love that perspective.
James Buckley24:59.177
It irks me every day, in one way or another. And I try really hard to be a communicator about it because I would hate it if one day there was a set of grandparents that literally could not hold a conversation with their grandchildren because the generational differences are that vast. And we're very quickly approaching that point.
Jolie Shapiro25:19.971
Yeah, I think the I think what really resonated with me there is the communication, the gap in communication between generations. And it's just widening and winding and winding.
James Buckley25:26.817
Yeah, absolutely. I think about this. One day we will all be in our 80s and 90s at an old folks home singing Cardi B. And our children will say, my gosh, this song is so old.
Jolie Shapiro25:43.971
God, that's scary. But also, I would love to live till ninety. That's true. Yeah. No, we're yeah, Cardi B and Meg I I love personally love Megan the Stallion. I think she's like
James Buckley25:46.293
It will be a different kind of old folks home when we get old, I'll tell you what. Cardi B, Megan the Stallion, Bad Bunny, it'll all be there in the wheelchair days.
Jolie Shapiro26:01.089
Amazing. I'm I'm looking forward to it. I mean if I live that long, you know, God bless.
James Buckley26:02.978
Yeah. I mean by then you know, the problem that we have in the economy right now is that the economy can't sustain people living to be a hundred plus years old. It just never it wasn't designed for that.
Jolie Shapiro26:17.837
Yeah, exactly. We're we're outpacing. we're not only outpacing ourselves, our resources are just we're not our world isn't meant for that. But I actually you you gave me a thought. do you have a take on addiction through the generations, like how that's evolved or how it's formed or
James Buckley26:35.765
you know, I would I I I th I think so, first of all, addiction has taken on a lot of new forms since I was addicted to things. I grew up in Miami, Florida. I was addicted to Coke. I did a little heroin. Anything on the table was, you know, what's your drug of choice? Yes. Right. That's I am ready to go. You know, that was my drug of choice. Yes, sir, let's make it happen. so when when I think about how it worked for me. Removing myself from a scenario was the best decision for me. Taking some distance between me and the environment that I was very comfortable and familiar in made it so that I had to get comfortable and familiar in a new environment without all of the vices that I had before. That made life really simple. Not every person, especially young people that live at home, can just pick up and move. Right? Addiction, I think, is something that stage one, recognize that you have it, right? Stage two. Take steps to try to solve that problem. Stage three, lean on your family. Your family often wants you to be healthy and happy. So those people are very important in your life. Stage four, adjust your environment. Right? For me, that process was the best thing for me. But addiction is different for everybody. It's I've I've learned that my journey and my experience isn't applicable to lots of people. They're incapable of doing it themselves. They need A network of professionals to help them do it. Pragmatism is the thing to be focused on in the modern addictive addiction world. There's a lot of ways around it too. There's mental shifts you can make. I remember I had a guy tell me that he has struggles with alcohol. I I talk about sales mostly, but salespeople talk to me about their personal stuff, you know? It's like part of who I am. They want to talk to me about it. How do I, where do I, what do I? So this guy tells me that. Yeah, he's constantly being driven home by his wife after they go out because he gets too sloshed and she has to be the person that's responsible and she gets mad at him and everything else. And he drinks, you know, handles of whiskey and all this stuff. I was like, Yeah, I'm a whiskey fan myself. But here's a tip. And I t and this might be really bad advice for somebody out there. Keep in mind I am not a addiction specialist. standard disclaimer applies. Don't sue me if you do this and it goes south. what I told him that I did was that I started spending more on whiskey. I started buying six and seven hundred dollar bottles of whiskey. When you spend that kind of money on special alcohol, I assure you, you do not want to drink it in a single shot. You want to spread it out over time and really enjoy it. This helped me to cut my drinking in half. Then later I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and I quit drinking altogether. And at this point, it's been three years since I've had a drink. Yeah, but th well, I can have a drink is the thing. I just it doesn't serve me on this journey I'm on now. And I think that with the right push, the right career, the right people around you, everyone that has an addiction could land in that bucket. But you have to make the choice. It's a choice every time. You know, whether or not you relapse, also a choice.
Jolie Shapiro29:21.763
Congratulations. Gotcha.
James Buckley29:51.202
Right. When my dad died, I relapsed. And that was the best thing that could have happened to me because I realized then I what am I doing? This is not what I want. I don't want to be back in this circle. That's not for me. Right. And that was a big eye opener for me. I had never touched it again after that. And it was a decision. And now I go home to Miami and it's around me. Doesn't bother me at all. People like, nope. Nothing. You guys go ahead. I'm good. Right? That's your life. That's your thing. I I can't do that. That's gonna put me in a bad spot. I can't do that. Right? If I'm out too late, I'm drinking with friends. I remember a couple of years back, probably like five years ago or so, I was out with very good friends. We were all bar hopping, and I remember getting back to the hotel and everybody was headed out to this concert that they were going to. And I told my boss at the time, I said, I can't be out there, man. I've I've gone too far already. I need to go back to the hotel. It's getting, it's I'm getting into that dark place that I don't want to be, and I'm gonna call it a night. He told me the next day he was like, Man, I really respected that. Right? That that was a big, a big adult decision right there. You know what it is to be thirty years old and having somebody else tell you that you just made an adult decision? thanks, man. You know, like but but I counted that as a big win in my book because I resisted that temptation to go out and do the party thing. And then I also made a good decision for myself the following day. Everybody was all hung over the following day. Not me. I was ready. I was with breakfast. I was like ready to go. Feeling good.
Jolie Shapiro31:06.723
Thank you. Your three AM gym work s y workout session?
James Buckley31:29.655
That's true. so for the last three years, I've been getting up at three in the morning, going to the gym. I pump it for about an hour and a half, two hours, and then I come home and I walk about ten miles. it takes three hours to walk ten miles. and you can at about a two point seven mile per hour pace. that's what I walk at. I'm six two. I'm two fifty right now. I started this journey at over three hundred pounds.
Jolie Shapiro31:53.178
Good for you. That's that's incredible. You know, there's there's a big movement for you know Zempic and Zetbound and insert GLP1 here and I I think it is very beneficial, but the fact that you're doing it, you know, completely naturally is is amazing.
James Buckley31:54.209
Yeah. Yeah. I can't throw any shade at that the that that the people that take that stuff, man. You know, if I felt like it was something I wanted, I would do it. I I I was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactive disorder when I was four years old in 1985. And if you grew up in the 80s, two things happened to you. One, you probably took something for ADD ADHD. Two, You probably saw an ear, nose, and throat doctor, because those things were huge in the 80s. Right? Well, me, I got forced to take Ritalin from the age of four all the way up to 18. And I say 18 because the day I turned 18, I threw those pills in the trash and swore to my parents I would never take them again. And I never did. Instead, I harnessed this energy into what I do now. All the things that you see online. The show. Personal branding, the content creation, the way that I network. I have a wall of people that you know, we take selfies together when they meet me and stuff. That's my wall of why. Right. And I look at that wall every day. And it reminds me of the reason that I get up and sit at this chair every day and do this job. It's not because it makes me money. Sure, that's true. It's because I get a great deal of satisfaction out of helping other people find success because I was an unlikely success. And it changed my life when my perspective shifted. And I thanked all the people around me that are most impactful for that. Your Morgan J. Ingrams, John Barrows, your Chris Merrill, your Megan Brenner. Like the you know, these people shaped who I am today because they believed in me. So I now I now get to be the person that believes in others. And that's really nice.
Jolie Shapiro33:58.542
Like you said, excuse me, circle of life.
James Buckley34:02.449
Haha yeah, yeah. Yeah, I you know, I always viewed it as more of a fence. I I tell people this frequently. I I sit on a fence and on one side of the fence there's all these people that want to be where I am. So I'm always reaching down to help them on my fence. And on the other side of the fence there's all these people that are where I want to be. And I'm always reaching up so that they can help me on their fence. But I never let go of the people that are beneath me on this other fence. So I'm always winning and advancing and I'm always taking people with me. And isn't that what we all want out of life? No one ever says no.
Jolie Shapiro34:35.459
Yeah, no, I I would I don't think I would say no to that. That's that's amazing. Yeah.
James Buckley34:39.777
Yeah, it's a feel good thing when you somebody comes to you and says, Yo, that thing that you did for me changed my life. That's a great thing.
Jolie Shapiro34:49.421
Yeah. No, I've had that happen. I got laid off I think three times in a row during the tracker session. And as I was kind of figuring out my stuff, I'm I'm like a professional job hunter, just for many reasons I don't need to get into. permanent Yeah, yeah, permanent disability. Almost there. I joked about that the other day. The first one was like, huh.
James Buckley34:57.719
Mm-hmm. For reasons that need not be explained.
Jolie Shapiro35:17.377
So that's a lot to unpack. We're not gonna do that now. Yeah.
James Buckley35:20.203
I used to be a job hopper as well and it was it was me that was the problem. I used to I used to tell people that you're the common denominator when you're a job hopper, right? And once I set some roots down and I stayed somewhere for four years, my career took off. Totally, totally changed my life.
Jolie Shapiro35:30.415
Exactly. That's amazing. Yeah, it's so true. But gave me a thought now. My ADHD. wait, hold on. We were talking about that gives me too many OCD stuff. Kevin, please cut that out. All right. I'm talking to this guy. Kevin. Kevin, I'll ke Kevin, Kevin Almighty. Kevin Almighty, please cut this out because I sound like a crazy person.
James Buckley35:46.135
Try well butrin. Skyman coming to Sky Man This guy's gonna die laughing when he's editing this.
Jolie Shapiro36:04.463
he always I I haven't I mean I think he does. He doesn't tell me that an episode an episode or editing an episode has made him like crack up, but I think this one will. No no no, he's he's a really he's a really solid dude. I d he's you know, he's just he maintains professionalism, but this one would be like dude he might text me and be like, dude, it's go to the sky. You probably laugh at that.
James Buckley36:16.321
This one might this one might change him his brain a little. Yeah, well we'll see about back Kevin in the sky. Ha ha.
Jolie Shapiro36:33.589
actually I had a I had a question for you. you're mentioning that like that that visual with people bring you up and you also bring people up. I love that, that chain. I I know that you've spoken about you've been creators excuse me, friends with some creators for years that you never really considered your friends. Can you expand on that?
James Buckley36:54.603
Yeah, so I talk about this regularly because in the influencer world we work with sell better is a daily sales show. check us out, sellbetter.xyz, shameless plug. when when we when we work with influencers, we build relationships. When we work with people that we're selling to, we build relationships. When we work with other creators, we build relationships, bridges between us and these people. These people are colleagues, they're peers, they're folks that know you. I there is a huge difference between that and the word friend. Right. Notice that when you work with somebody for years, you're close. When you create something, they like it, they engage in it, they leave thoughtful comments, but then they quit, they move on, they start a business themselves, they're no longer a part of that organization. What happens to that relationship? It vanishes, it disappears as if these people never knew you. Do you know how hurtful that can be with the wrong mindset? So here's the my mindset, and this is what I share with people. Don't take it personally. It's not personal. There are other things in these people's lives other than you. Your post about what you did Saturday night is not an important post for this human being that you expect to love all over you because you put a tweet out. Dude, spare me. That's not to say that these I see you laughing your ass off. It's because you relate. That's why, right? We all have influencers that we have followed for years, supported for years, that we never see in our comment section. We never see them like our stuff. It's okay. It's gonna be fine. You don't need them to accept you. They are not your friends. You're not having beers with them at the end of the day. Okay? So I bring this up because there's a big comparison game that we play. We we put something out there and we think it's a banger, but it gets no love. And then some absolute hottie puts out the same thing that you just put out, and it's Billions of views, likes, comments, and we go, what's broken about me? That's what we think. We take it personally. It's not personal. And in the end, and I say this to salespeople all the time: those influencers, those bridges that you built, those companies that you closed, those signatures that you got, they're not gonna be at your funeral, man. They're not following your caravan to the graveyard. That's not happening. So let that shit go. If you want to take it personally and you want to do something about it, have a conversation with that influencer. What's up, man? I support your stuff all the time, but I never see you in my comments. Why is that? If that's your aggressive way, I assure you that influencer will never engage with you. It's never gonna happen for you. If you're smart, what you'll do is just stay loyal. Just be the person that you've been and don't worry about it. One day, that person might show up in your DMs. One day, that person might like, comment, and share one of your posts. And won't that make your day? Absolutely. And then you get to send this instead. Thank you. I've been a big fan for years. I'm honored that you found what I put out there insightful. And isn't that better? Doesn't that make you feel different? Of course. But we take it personally. Don't take it personally. It's not personal. And it's not about you. That that post that you put out is like a blip on the screen in your life. It's not your world. This isn't OnlyFans.
Jolie Shapiro41:08.311
I I'm just I was dying laughing. I'm so happy I was on mute. not not during the not during your like the the serious part, but before it was just like, my god. Yeah, I think Kevin in the sky. He should. wait, I'm thinking of loosing the sky down. I was like, wait, hasn't it been written already? And then you Yeah, exactly. You're gonna do Kevin in the Sky.
James Buckley41:17.623
Kevin in the sky is gonna love that bit. I'm gonna write a song called Kevin in the Sky. No, no, you're thinking of Lucy in the sky. That's right, that's right. I'm doing Kevin, it will be a parody.
Jolie Shapiro41:37.881
Kevin, you can keep that if you want. There we go. I have a I had a response and a question. I want to think about which one I want to do. I don't need to talk about mania. All right, so one last question. great. So you say, you know, keep going, you're gonna make it, you know, you're a very positive person on LinkedIn, but like on days that you don't believe it, do you still post it? Do you still encourage people, even when you don't believe it yourself?
James Buckley42:12.129
That's the that's the best time to post it. That's the best time to post it. That's that's when you have to post it the most. Yeah. I I first of all, I don't have very many days where I don't feel it, right? I wake up feeling that momentum, especially because I get up and I get well I get going. You know, I I that physical movement for me has changed my life. Just I can't say enough about that. but realistically, I think that's when it's needed the most. And if you're a person that everyone looks to for positive and you have nothing positive to say. Dude, take a day. Right? Reset your brain. I live in the Smoky Mountains National Park in East Tennessee. So when I have a bad day or an off day, it's not uncommon for me to unplug and take some time. I walk a lot through the woods. I go out and I kayak sometimes on Saturdays. No phones, nothing, right? It will reset everything about your mind. Here's another thing. None of us get enough sleep. I find sometimes that I'll wake up and I I don't feel it. Sometimes, occasionally. And if I if I have an like an afternoon siesta for like an hour, if I just skip lunch and take a nap instead, I wake up feeling amazing when I wake up. It's an incredible thing what sleep can do for our brains and our hormones and our our brain chemistry. Right? So like I tell people all the time, when you're feeling off Don't try to force it. Because your work takes a hit. If you write cold emails, you're going to write shitty messages in that moment. If you're doing social outreach, sending voice notes or something, you're going to stutter and stammer because you're not feeling it. If you're doing video, it's going to be 20 takes before you get this right. Right? It's a waste of time when you're forcing it. So when you feel it, feel it and ride the wave. But if you can't catch the wave, get out of the water for a while.
Jolie Shapiro44:10.873
Dude, this has been legit. Thank you so much, James. You're I could just
James Buckley44:17.453
Well, it's been a pleasure. I've enjoyed it. I'm sorry if my characteristics were a bit aggressive for Kevin in the skies.
Jolie Shapiro44:23.031
Not at all. No no no no help he's a tough cookie.
James Buckley44:27.409
K Kevin, f Kevin in the sky, forgive me for all my transgressions.
Jolie Shapiro44:32.988
He's definitely not a priest, but that's that that's really funny. yeah, so where can we find you? I know you're you're all over, but we'd love love would love the shameless plugs.
James Buckley44:41.355
Yeah, connect with on well. So don't follow me on, don't connect with me on LinkedIn. I've hit that silly limit. so I'm at the 30K connections limit. Instead, follow me on TikTok or Instagram at say what sales. It's all one word. Say what? that's my personal brand. James Buckley. And obviously you could just Google James SayWhatSales Buckley. The only content that comes up when you Google hashtag say what sales is my content. So if you're thinking about what your hashtag should be, Make it something that when people Google it, you're the only thing that they see. Don't do don't do like, you know, something silly like let's get it, because you're gonna get tons of stuff with that.
Jolie Shapiro45:18.989
I love how you ended with the shameless blog end advice. I mean, that's a that's you're the best one of the best salespeople I've ever met. Being able to do that.
James Buckley45:24.599
You gotta package it all up together so people don't know. It's very it's very it's very hold on, it's very ninja, you know.
Jolie Shapiro45:29.827
That was very ninja. Very stealth. Well, thank you so much, James. Really appreciate it. This has been awesome.
James Buckley45:33.942
It was my pleasure.